31.3.26

Hello everyone and thank you for following my blog.

I’ve been asked for a copy of my protocols and my apologies for not posting it earlier. It has slipped my mind possibly because I don’t believe that my protocols would be useful to anyone else.

I have shared at the recent skillshare Power exchange dynamic setup how I arrived at my list of protocols and showed how they reflected my wants and needs. I also took the participants through the steps of making up their own list of protocols, that would be uniquely theirs and reflect their desires, wants and needs. However, since you asked and keeping in mind what I think about making your own list, here is mine:

 

Protocols - example

General

  • Greeting should be performed when you first see me. On your knees, kiss to left foot, right foot then wait for me to lift you up.

  • Departure should be performed as last thing, after your things have been collected, goodbyes said, etc. On your knees, kiss to left foot, right foot.

  • You will always call me Ma’am, in private, in public and when talking to a third party.

  • Eating, drinking, sleeping, using the bathroom, exiting my presence should be done after permission has been given.

At home:

  • You are not allowed to sit on chairs and couches. You are encouraged to create comfortable sitting on the floor using whichever cushions are available.

  • Rule of thumb, do not just sit, unless specifically instructed to do so. If you have nothing to do, look around you and find something.

  • Eating alone, having received permission, prepare your meal, sit down and wait. When I say bon appetite, you say thank you Ma’am and begin eating.

  • Eating with me, organize everything for both of us, then stand and wait until I give you permission to sit and say bon appetite, say thank you Ma’am and begin eating.

  • When the meal has finished, ask for permission to clear the dishes. After which clean all the dishes used and the kitchen.

  • Coffee and tea service: on your knees, coffee or tea on a tray, eyes on coffee or tea and wait. I shall reach for the coffee or tea when I am ready.

  • I always want water; make sure there is plenty available to me at all times.

  • Entering a room I am in. Approach the door, kneel and wait. I will tell you when to enter.

  • Bath service, prepare the bath, with candles and scented water, towels etc., come to the room I am in, kneel and wait.

  • It is your responsibility to clean and put away all toys and equipment after we finish play and aftercare.

In company

  • In the general community you represent the interests of this house and me in particular. If you have a problem, please discuss it with me first.

  • When there is company, you are always behind my left shoulder.

  • I offer drinks to the guests, you provide them.

  • If we are dining with others, always serve me first, then the highest rank Dom/me next and so on. If you are unsure who is who, ask me.

  • All the food should be served before you stand next to me indicating that everything is ready.  when I signal that you may sit do so and wait for your bon appetite.

  • If you wish to talk to me, when there is company, approach me and wait. I’ll ask you with my eyes if there is anything you want and you may whisper it into my ear.

  • If you wish to talk to others when in company, approach me and wait. I’ll ask you with my eyes if there is anything you want and you may ask me quietly if you may speak to others/ask them anything.

  • You will always get free time to interact with other people. After organising a seat and a drink for me, ask me quietly if you may socialise. When doing so, keep me in your eyesight, in case I require something from you.

  • Anything you are unsure about, ask. I will never reproach you for asking. In time I want all of it to become a well-choreographed dance, no signs needed because you know what to do at all times.

28.3.26

Hello everyone and thank you for following my blog.

It has been a full moth since I woke in this new place. The past month hasn’t been easy and this is reflected in the way my body moves. Lifting and moving boxes in the correct way meant that my spine was fully protected, but alas it put a strain on my gluteus maximus, or in other words my right butt cheek. Reflecting on this recent injury brings me back to the first blog post I have written. If doing the wrong thing and doing the right thing are injurious to the body, which one I’d rather do? Hmmm. Do bodies have an expiration date and as we near it different parts have sensitivities that weren’t there in the beginning?

On the positive side of this move was the opportunity to reevaluate my priorities, which induced me to give away many of my possessions, choose to occupy my time differently and place the big and important things first. One such big thing is publishing the books I’ve been working on in the last couple of years myself. You will hear all about it when I have a new website ready but be prepared, they are kinky in all the ways we actually practise kink and not the diluted versions current available for readers. Writing them I wanted to present our people as they actually are without shame or diminution of their desires, with all the complexity that these desires present. Yes, we can be emotionally vulnerable while inflicting pain and control, we can fall in love without changing ourselves to fit in with the patterns of attachment expected by the social media and the love experts. We are fundamentally different, so why should our relationships fit the normative moulds? This is all I’m going to say on the topic, until I sort out how to make my series available.

In other news my recent skillshare has been very well received. I am always surprised at the notebooks and pens that come out, but I shouldn’t be. My talks are always full on details that people want to record. After all I bring a fully polished five to six thousand words essay to every skillshare.

Next subject is Accepting and Managing Service, focusing on being able to believe, truly believe, that we deserve it. It is happening at the The Mezzanine at The GSpot Adult Variety Store on 3rd of May. I have almost finished the first draft of this brand new skillshare and will have it ready by that time.

 

p.s. I haven’t yet figured out how to make this blog like every other I have seen which is to allow people to comment. I am working on it.

 

7.3.26

Hello everyone and thank you for following my blog.

Fetlosophy is back online! It has been only a week but it feels like I’ve been disconnected from my people for ages.

The move has been an ordeal. Moving from a large place to a smaller one is challenging in and of itself, but this was only the beginning. It took three trucks and six movers to get us from one place to another. Considering that in addition to a full house, we were moving two active workshops, it shouldn't have been surprising. Yet I admit to standing there gobsmacked watching the three trucks being filled to the brim and having one of the trucks make a second journey to collect the things that were left. In addition, one of our cats has escaped the frightening scene and hasn’t returned for hours, no matter what I tried. So I spent a few agonising hours sitting in an empty house worrying about her . In the end she came back and I bundled us both into the car and we drove to the new place.

But wait there is more. On arrival to the new place I saw no walls or floor. Every available space was covered in our possessions not leaving us room to move around them. The cats were excited to sleep on top of boxes. We started assessing what we could part with if we wanted to have a comfortable life in this house. It was a lot. Channelling Marie Kondo I ruthlessly donated, given away and disposed of a large number of things. Some are still to be collected, but the floor space is visible.

But wait there is more. The process was further slowed by discovering that every sink in the house was leaking and flooding the cabinets under them, so we couldn’t put away all the things that belonged in them. This hasn’t been resolved yet, because this isn’t an emergency complaint and we are waiting patiently for the arrival of the saviour, … um… plumber.

More about our tribulations in the next instalment!

But you will be happy to learn that all FETLOSOPY products have arrived safely, have been organised in their appropriate cabinets and are ready to go to their new homes. So get clicking!

I am also looking forward to the next skillshare Power exchange dynamic set-up at the The Mezzanine at The GSpot Adult Variety Store on Sunday 22nd March. Tickets and more information at https://fetlosophy.com/skillshares

26.2.26

Hello everyone and thank you for following my blog.

Ever since I was a child I wanted to teach. I didn’t know much yet that I wanted to share with people, so I invented stories and told them to whomever would listen. Grown up people in my life didn’t like it, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t for the attention or praise. When I was telling stories, I wasn’t thinking about anything. I was there in the moment, head silent and calm. It has been like that ever since for me. These days I teach kink at the Mezzanine of the Gspot adult variety store, and it feels amazing to me. Sitting with people who are either new or want to look deeper into subjects that we all relate to, makes the hours of preparation worth it.

Today I am sitting among packing boxes that hold almost all my belongings as I prepare to move to another house. All my candles and floggers are softly and carefully packed and waiting for the removalists to take them, and I realise that what really matters is inside me and will move with me wherever I go. It isn’t in the boxes, but rather in my soul. It is the wish to share knowledge with people who want it. Not the dry information on how to function in the kink world without harming yourself and others, but rather the knowledge of years of trial and error, of pain and delight, and of success and failure. Possibly more of failure, because there isn’t much to learn from success.

In addition to that knowledge there are the stories that I tell about things that didn’t happen. Stories about things that could or should have happened, and stories about things that should or could not. Stories about other lives I could have lived but didn’t and other people that did and felt things that anyone of us could have done and felt. These stories aren’t ready yet to share, but they will be, and soon. These people have lived in my mind for years and came out onto the paper in a rush.

The universe these stories live in will feel familiar to many. It is the universe many of friends, as well as I, live in. It is the world of kinksters who live their lives with kink as the main protagonist. They think and behave like any of us, but they aren’t us. They are fictional characters.

All this is to say that although my physical belongings are in boxes and therefore unavailable, my most important things are here and now, fully present and active and I feel excited to let them out to play.

2.2.26

Hello everyone and thank you for following my blog.

Yesterday I presented the first skillshare of the year - strap-on play.

The mayhem started a few weeks prior to the date of the skillshare. On the events listing I saw an unusual number of interested parties, 81 to be exact. I took action immediately and explained that the space is limited to 20 attendees . To be honest I prefer it that way. I am not one to lecture to the class, but rather converse with people and answer questions as they arise. And they do arise, because we are not uniform machines and everyone’s experience is different. So I usually organise the sitting in a circle, with nice colourful cushion on each chair and talk.

Anyway back to the tickets, very few were sold a week prior to the date, many reserved their place by messaging me privately (read a long correspondence with each), some contacted the venue only to be redirected to me, etc. etc. Two hours before the start time I did a rough count and announced that the event was sold out. You would think that all went well from that moment on, wouldn’t you? Not exactly. People who reserved their tickets seeing that the event was sold out decided that their tickets were sold to others and didn’t come. Some others messaged me while I was on route to ask for tickets. and then some who already purchased their tickets didn’t come.

The ones who did attend had a great time. We sat in a circle discussing various way to kill or injure each other with huge dildos, how to mix the perfect lube, and things to that effect. There was a lot of laughter and even spontaneous applause at the end.

…and when I arrived home I opened my app to discover many messages from people asking when I am going to run this skillshare again…

Conclusion: Buy your tickets here in advice. Don’t hesitate and don’t delay. Come and have fun!

3.1.26

Hello everyone, and thank you for following my blog.

Among the many, many, things I do, which I shall share with you in the future blog posts, there are some stupid ones. One such thing happened on 11.10.25, which resulted in tears in my left shoulder subscapularis and supraspinatus. It was after fetish expo, around 1am, when I decided it would be a good idea to deliver over an hour of rough body play, specifically punching. I wasn't feeling any pain while doing it. On the contrary, every muscle in my body was singing with joy at the long forgotten pleasure of letting loose and raining unending punches.

In the morning my arm felt numb and after a couple of days I had trouble moving it at all. Every twist and turn had me gritting my teeth in pain. Amazingly cause and effect didn't connect for me for a while. Only when I was describing my latest play to a friend, it clicked. Hitting a surface as hard and dense as a wall for over an hour, somehow slipped my mind as the possible cause of my injury.

Concurrently scans were performed and revealed the torn muscles, and I had the joy of explaining the activity to multiple people of my care team, some of whom looked at me in horror, 'Why would you punch a wall, and why for so long?'

'It wasn't a wall, it was like a wall.'

'Why would you want to do that?'

'Because it was fun.' I can see confusion and disbelief in their eyes. 'It wasn't a wall, but a very dense pair of buttocks, placed in such a way that only the muscles were on the surface. ‘ Even in the midst of excitement, I made sure that it wouldn't harm the bottom.

The diagnosis didn't solve the problem of course,. Next will come hours and hours of rehabilitation, very painful massages and no upper body training for the foreseeable future. If that doesn’t make a difference, surgery will become a real possibility. So yes, that happened.